laurawhiterivers

When I watched Shawn’s accident unfold before us, I knew instantly nothing was ever going to be the same for the girls and I again.  I cannot describe how awful it feels knowing thousands of people witnessed my husband’s death live, it was cycled on the news and internet in a frenzy, the very moment of his death replayed on You Tube and discussed at length on social media. News crews combed the area searching for statements from anyone wanting to be on television and some channels even knocked at my door the next day! The next day my husbands body still lay at the hospital for an autopsy and they are looking for a statement from me! This accident has changed our anonymous little family’s life forever. Simply walking into a local restaurant or store has become a stressful event for me. My WordPress page with Shawn’s true obituary has been read no less than 3,767 times and in ten different countries as of this post, and it increases still a little more every day! What I couldn’t have predicted, however, was the outpouring of goodwill from our extended family, friends, business associates and kind strangers.

The Castleton Boat Club membership worked tirelessly to be sure that the memorial picnic and family reunion/pig roast went smoothly. They coordinated with family members, donated personal money and their free time to see it done right.  I know that the picnic they put on was exactly what Shawn had envisioned as his last party, right down to having a pig roast. Billy Walsh and the Operating Engineers presented me with envelopes from the job sites around upstate, some Shawn worked on recently. Over the years Shawn and I have donated and organized job-site fund raising for people in similar situations, I never envisioned myself as a recipient!  Laborers and Iron workers, Slovak Trucking and all guests who attended Saturday’s memorial and dropped a bill in the tip jar or a card with a thoughtful gift have seen to it that the girls and I stay afloat in the storm while we readjust to a world without Shawn as our primary provider.  Northeast Stock Car Old Timers (NESCOT) and the greater racing community in the Upstate Track Circuit (driven and promoted in part by Scott Morris, Heather Steele Thompson, Nancy Bidel and Kim Lavoy – [my apologies if I have missed anyone, most of you know I have stayed off Facebook since the accident]), have been so generous to the children’s account at Key Bank.  Frank and Cindy of Schodack Septic have personally kept track of me as friends and neighbors, bringing breakfast in the morning to be sure I ate in the early days after the accident and checking in at night so I wasn’t so alone.  Stilsing Electric has offered support I am ever grateful for. I appreciated the presence of Lebanon Valley Speedway and Rensselaer Scrap at Saturday’s picnic and in the days after the accident.  Del’s Dawgs donated food, local farmers sent corn and bread. Grand Premier Tire shined Shawn’s truck so when his children drove it to the cemetery Friday night, it was the proudest it has ever looked. Mitch Neary, Dave Sanchez and Wayne Hurley all donated original stickers to use as fundraisers. Kenny Morris and Sons, Inc. have remembered the family. The Advertiser has gifted a forum to share my gratitude publically with the local community.  The residents of Castleton suffered stoically through numerous memorial burn outs on Main Street Saturday, kindly waiting to call the police only much later in the day.  Shawn tore up Main Street with that old blue Ford back in his younger days and drove everyone crazy then – it was fitting you all laid rubber there one last time. (for their sakes, however, let us all run quietly down there now). You can all call Freddy at Grand Premier for tires, since I’m guessing you’ll need some soon.  I have attempted to keep a list of donations and gifts, however I know that I will miss some, please understand- the last two weeks were simply overwhelming for us. If I have not mentioned you here, it is not at all intentional.

To everyone who has helped or given to our family in any way small or large; beautiful sympathy cards, bouquets of flowers, trees to plant, photo albums, memory books for the girls, donations of food or funds, a kind hug or a thoughtful text, or just stopping by to mow my lawn, you must understand that we are all forever grateful to you. Our lives will never be the same without Shawn, but your generosity and kindness reinforce my calm trust that things will be okay, thus giving my daughters faith in our future security and through the pain of his loss. They can sense my confidence and that is because of everyone’s support.

The morning after his accident I shuffled out of the house after only an hour’s sleep, a pain collecting in my chest that has barely just started to lessen.  I was surprised to find someone anonymously left two beautiful, freshly cut star-gazer lilies on my windshield. Thank you whoever you were- I will always imagine it as Shawn, leaving me one final token of his love and affection.

With my most sincere and heart-felt gratitude,

Laura