laurawhiterivers

The depth of this darkness is startling.
       Your voice is in every memory now
        And I can still see the blood dripping on the white sheet, smeared on my hand after I touched your face and kissed your closed eyes goodbye.

I think your face will be ever in my nights.
I will always see them crowded around you, white lighting creating dark shadows in the dirt.
I can sleep sometimes now. I’ve traded nights for the sunlight, but you sleep there too,  a lifeless expectancy.

There is no poetry tonight
      nothing to make others understand the depth of this silence, and my impatience with pity has made me impossible.

I hold our daughters often as they cry for you, my soulless eyes belie my tender voice.

I have less to say than I thought, less to feel than I should.

A dangerous silence has now settled in the vacuum,  coating the pain with a hardened loneliness that I cannot scratch. Nothing will touch it, nothing will fit but you.
And you are gone forever.